Self-Care

Yes, that is a plate of food. While it might not look or seem like much for me, it is a sign of progress. You see, the term self-care gets used in many different formats. But what really is it? For some, they seem to think drinking a bottle of wine in one sitting or buying that really fancy purse is a form of self-care. While I am not here to pick apart another person's choices, I will tell you about my adventures in self-care. I do this while drinking a glass of whiskey and Dr Pepper and listening to a truly delightful storm.

I did not like to cook for myself. I was happy to make a decent meal for a group of friends. However, cooking for just myself seemed like a waste to me. This is entirely a reflection of my lack of self-love. Even if I would not admit it out loud, I had a hard time actually giving a fuck about myself. When I did make something for myself, it usually involved the microwave. Actually dirtying some dishes and taking the time to prep something nice was just not something I did.

Today I got up and put away the laundry I washed last night. I used to sleep next to it on my bed. Today I meal prepped breakfast for the work week. I was a frequent flyer at Mc Donald's. I went for my walk. Even though I was tired, and my feet still hurt from Saturday's 5 miles, I pushed myself further. Old me would have chosen inactivity as an act of self-care. I got home, helped a roommate shave the back of her head. Then I took a nice shower and put on fresh clean clothes. I used to only shower before work or a date. But spending time under the hot water was worth making time for.

Before making lunch, I hard-boiled some eggs to enjoy on salads this week. I found a good recipe for the bratwurst I thawed out last night. I made two sides that were from the freezer. I looked at the nutritional information and portioned them out. This allowed for me to put leftovers in the fridge for tomorrow. Back in the day, I would have eaten most of what I made in a single sitting. All my dishes are clean and drying. In a bit I will unload the dishwasher and put everything away instead of saving it for tomorrow. Everything used to be a tomorrow problem, and when all the tomorrows came at once, it made life suck.

This morning I spent a minimal amount of time before diving into chores. That way instead of feeling a sense of "I should be doing" I was able to accomplish the needed tasks first. I was prolific at putting shit off until the last minute and leaving myself in a constant state of stress and self loathing.

But right now I am set up for an easy morning before work, everything is ready to go for the day. I can enjoy a meal out of the microwave that did not come out of a box. Self-care can be many things, but in this case it is discipline that is self-care for me. Pushing myself harder on that walk means I am working harder at being a healthier self. Eating a nice meal at home means not wasting money on food that while delicious is horrible for me. Now on the same hand I had a burger from Five guys last Wednesday night. Because I still deserve to have a bit of what I love, just not every day until I am overweight and miserable.

Progress is a beautiful thing and honestly my day today would not have seemed like a good goal a few years ago. But priorities change and so do goals. I am 36 days into a weight loss competition, but it seems like for both of us it has sunk in that this is more than just about being over weight. This is all about sustainable lifestyle changes and creating lasting habits to help us live better lives. Today, I am a version of me that I am actually proud of. So for anyone who is waiting for "Tomorrow" or "Next week" start now because those fictitious dates never seem to come. Bishop :(: