Dear Bishop 2023

For those of you new to this blog, Dear Bishop is a yearly letter to myself. I started it one lonely December in 2017. I was rather well lubricated that night. However, I found having an open and honest conversation with myself did wonders for me. Instead of trauma surgery therapy, this is now more of a self check in. So without further ado here is Dear Bishop 2023.

Well hello Bishop, you are running a bit late this year. You normally have this little chat in August. Better late than never, and I know this moment has been on your mind a lot over the past weeks. You did not forget about this, you just weren't ready yet. No matter, I am just glad you are here. I see things have moved around a bit. You are all cozy in the basement, drinking some orange tea with honey and whiskey. It is probably noteworthy that neither of us can remember the last time you actually had a hard drink. It seems like you picked this one for the taste and not to calm the nerves. Good progress indeed.

You and Charles made it to see Jelly Roll. Even if you both called the weight loss challenge a draw, it was good that you went. Look at both of you, so much gray in that beard. I think you might finally be feeling your age and looking it. Gone are the nights of going to bars to seek socialization and singing away the pain through karaoke. For someone who once took every opportunity to get drunk, you take on life very sober. That decanter of whiskey has aged for a few months now.

I know life has been hectic and stressful these past few months. I know you are mad for letting current events distract you from life goals. But this today Bishop is so many years ahead of the man I once knew. You spent a few hours' meal prepping today. Not just buying "Healthy" low calorie microwave meals, but honest to God cooking for yourself. You never cared about yourself enough or were willing to put forth the effort to make a meal like that for yourself before. I am proud of you for the steps you are taking.

So I see you did a lot of self reflection, work and healing since 2021. Exiting out of that thankless and toxic relationship was life-saving and healthy. Not feeling respected, heard, or valued for anything more than your pay check was a low point for you. Standing up for yourself was not always a strong point. But I see the legacy continues. Even when it is hard or uncomfortable. You might still be slow to respond, but you do what you need to for you.

Here you sit in 2023, in the basement of your home. You now share it with your amazing partner that you met on Tinder, of all places. You have a relationship with healthy communication, respect, love and understanding. I also see you even listed publicly on Facebook that you are in an open relationship. You have come a long way from living in shadows and maintaining a public image, and are being your authentic self. While what you have is not for everyone, it really seems to work for you. You and your partner are happy and in love. I am glad you are finally living your truth and are not seeking to fit in or meet the expectations of others.

Life is quieter now for you. Home really feels like a home, and you look forward to coming home after a long day's work. You love your job and while it has its own brand of complexity and stress, you are valued and respected. You have vacation time, sick time, paid holidays and weekends off. Something you have wanted for a long time. You proved yourself selling cars, you bought a house living off straight commission, and you have earned your seat at the table. You are more than just a salesman. You can learn, you can grow, and you add value to your work.

Life is ever-changing for you, and it feels like you are about to open the door on a new chapter. It feels like it is time to set goals again and chase dreams. Follow through on goals is what will be game changing for you. Making that list rattling around in your head and checking off goals is going to feel amazing. Shelby is on a similar journey. Starting up school again and slaying those personal goals. The support you have for one another on each other's personal endeavors is beautiful, even if it feels foreign to you in so many ways.

What was it that Jelly Roll said at the concert? "I am not who I once was, and I am not all that I will be". It was something like that, while the exact words might not come, the feeling remains. Learning, podcasting and personal growth is not over, it has simply just been resting while you breathe. You earned that rest period. Something else you have gotten better at. Actually taking a break and allowing yourself to relax without the useless guilt over not spending every moment being productive. You still have stress and fears, this I know to be true. While you are not 100% out of survival mode, you are transitioning to thriving. Something that 2017 Bishop could have never accomplished. Friends are people who come and go. Sometimes they leave on their terms, and other times they leave on yours. Not every friendship is meant to last forever. Everything has a season, if you will. Sometimes we change and grow out of that season and part ways with others. It does not mean that you wish them to starve, you just no longer offer them a seat at your table. You have met some of the most amazing of people in unlikely ways. Seppi was once a patron at the bar you tended at. Now seven years later as Facebook friends you own a house together. You two were once the hard drinking duo. Now the booze lasts a lot longer and more things happen sober. You should probably plan bro dates more often, though. While at 36 years of age, you can say you have lived. You have so much more living you want to do, and with some healthier habits and more self-care it can be an amazing rest of your life. Gray hair and all, you have so much left to accomplish. So let's make that list, create a vision board, and put in the hard work required to make the changes that you want and need to.

The season of rest draws to an end, my friend. It is time to start kicking ass again. Time to read more books, record more episodes, and making the most out of the skill set you have. You have some amazing friends, a supportive and caring partner and a beautiful daughter. Just don't forget to take your time to enjoy life along the way. Also, let's get back to writing more often. Posting every week was good for you. So here are the simple instructions for you to follow between now and the next check in. Read the Pocket Life Coach and apply it to life. Meet with Jeff and make season two a reality. Make lists and check off those goals. Keep working on diet and nutrition with Shelby. Read those books sitting over your head right now and apply them. You will accomplish amazing things, you will love deeply, and you will dive back into art. No more not being ready. Be the beautiful bastard that you are and explore those hidden and forgotten talents. While helping others no longer involves a crazy night at the bar raising money for others, you can still touch lives without losing yourself in the process. You are on the right path, and you are resilient. You can and will overcome obstacles in your way. Much love your friend Bishop!