Seeing Eye Human

Forgive me internet for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last confession, I mean blog post... Sometimes I don't have all the answers. Other times, it seems I lack the words to express what I need to say in any manner that would resemble intelligent thought. So I kept the fingers off the keyboard for a while. My dog Ruger, well age has caught up with him. I got him when he was about 6 months old. Found him on KSL shortly after the purchase of my mobile home in Orem. He met me, crawled into my lap and demanded belly rubs. He is the most chill Jack Russell Terrier I have ever known. So he came home with us. How old is he? Best guess is 13. Memory does not serve well when it was I got him, and he is a second hand dog, so I never met his parents. I can tell you we were both younger than, and we equally had more asshole in each of us. Chill as he is, he has always been a grumpy fuck. Not long after my divorce, at the urging of my neighbors, I was advised to rehome him. I would occasionally spend a night out here and there, and they would watch him. Honestly, I regret it. He thankfully went back to my ex-wife. This was 2017 or 2018 when he went to live with her. Getting back into the car business, I had less time at home because honestly that industry is not a respecter of work-life balance, at least in the sales division. So it was good that he was with her during that time. Any time I had a long weekend, I kidnapped him, and he was my little shadow all over again.

It was not until mid 2020 that I was able to have him back full time again. He was able to stay with my girlfriend at the time and be cared for while I was at work. I spent most nights over there anyway, so I got to cuddle him at night. He was plied with lots of snacks and became an older and lazier Jack Russell. AS you know, that ex and I split January 2023. Thankfully, my new roommate was always home and well that little shit loves her more than me most of the time, so it worked out.

Time is a cruel mistress and in December of 22 his vision observably began to fade. He started walking into walls, missing treats thrown to him, and by late January he could no longer track movement. He is and shall remain blind. He also started to get bloated easier. Lacking the funds for the vet, I let him keep on keeping on as good as he could.

Not long ago he developed an eye infection and avoiding the vet was no longer an option. Thankfully, my amazing friend Bri was willing and able to help cover the bulk of the vet bill. He was given three medications and had to take them several times a day. They helped kick the infection out. However, he was no longer able to stay at home all day. He became too much to manage at home. Still, even more lucky, I work at a place that loves dogs and several of them come to work daily. So he became a work dog. This was stressful for both of us, I am sure. I was set in my morning routine, and bringing him with was a rather large change. When he could see, he was often my little shadow when one on one. He would follow me almost anywhere.

Now being blind, he had to get used to a leash and collar again. He had to learn to trust me in a completely new way. I became his seeing eye human. It was interesting leash training a blind dog. Thankfully, he learned to trust me and does not fight it often. Watching him figure out our daily routine and adapt to the busy sounds of State Street. He had to learn where our daily walks took us and trust I was not leading him into traffic. But adapt he has. As for the bloating, the vet said his best guess was cancer, but more expensive testing would be required. I sadly do not have the funds for this. I can tell you, while he is still a bit of a grump and likes to grumble at me, he does not seem to be in any pain right now. He walks slower and into things often. Taking a blind dog to the bathroom has been an experience for both of us. Sometimes at work when he is awake and notices I have left the building, he will actually sit at the door and howl for me. I don't know how much time he has left. Truthfully, I hope he will eventually pass when he is ready in his sleep. The thought of having to someday put him down is a powerfully emotional one that I do not like to dwell on. That even now brings a tear to my eye just pondering it. I miss his judgmental glares, as unsettling as they could be. I wish I had taken him to work more often when he was healthier. But as always, we don't know what we have until it is gone. What seems like an inconvenience today very well might seem like a regret and missed opportunity in the not so distant future. So please enjoy those fur children, give them and extra treat and snuggle for me. Even when they are being a bit of an asshole. Bishop :(: