Red Flag Safari

Bonus blog post because the mood to write has struck me. Whiskey on a Wednesday? Yes, whiskey on a Wednesday. It is almost time for another bottle. Enough with the intro, let's talk about that picture above this paragraph. I have lived that life, I have loved and trusted some of the worst people, and it has tormented me.

Now, you might be bracing for me to go on some long ass rant about someone who wronged me. To a point, you are right... ish. You see, I have been wronged in past relationships, it is an honest fact. I am going to take it a step further, however. I am going to post a picture of the very person I am upset with. Are you ready for this? I know this is kinda public, but I am ready to put this person on blast!

That is the asshole! That is the one who hurt me and let me down in past relationships. If you are saying, "Hey, ain't that you?". You would be correct, dear observant reader. You see, I am the one who decided to look past red flags and accept them. I am the one who stayed in the relationships even when it was killing me. I am the one who let myself be destroyed.

As upset as I have been about the way things played out and how I was treated in the past, one fact I can not escape. I am entirely responsible for sticking around, and that blame alone falls on my shoulders. We all get a raw deal every now and then in life, it happens. But we have to accept ownership for our role in things if we ever want to learn, grow and heal.

If we constantly walk through life crying out loud about how we have been wronged and never stop to ponder our role in our displeasure, we will look foolish. People can only take us for as much of a ride as we allow. We have to take extreme ownership of the role we play in our hurt, or we will never heal. My biggest downfall was the lack of love and respect I had for myself. I lacked understanding of healthy limits and boundaries for myself, and I gave even when it wasn't appreciated or reciprocated. It truly is this year at 35 years old where I have understood self-love and practiced it. A person lacking in self-love is a danger to themselves. You see, the thing is kids, not everyone who has a cute smile and gives you the time of day has the best intentions for you. If you can't practice self-love and are love deprived, it is oh so easy to fall into that trap.

All too often we hear the well rehearsed "My relationships all have one thing in common and that thing is me.". They aren't wrong, but they also aren't fully accepting the role they play in the pit of self-made misery. It is easy to get lost in the arms of another when we lack a sense of self. So I encourage anyone who these words hit home for to pause for a minute and truly think about that mountain of emotional shit you keep packing around with you. Give it a good look over and truly ask, "How much of this is my fault for allowing it to continue?". Life is easier when you are the master of your own destiny, and you can take ownership for your failures. Yeah, you can still be pissed that shitty people exist, but you can also learn to recognize the signs from experience and stop turning a blind eye to shitty behavior. You owe it yourself to live that best life and heal. How you do it, what it looks like and when it happens is up to you. Be excellent to yourself! Bishop :(: