Recharge

Last Saturday,

I had the pleasure of getting together with friends and recording an episode of Mental Flog. The four of us gathered around Jeff's coffee table with microphones and various cups to drink water from. I had a penguin water bottle, the head screwed off and everything. The four of us gathered together to take in the last rise story of the season. AJ shared with us what happened after his fall. A fall being when the wheels fall off and you hit rock bottom. A rise is the gradual climb out of that pit of despair and figure out how to rebuild life. In a way, it could be even called a rebirth.

We were going to record two episodes that day, but we had to finish up early. Tomorrow we all have the pleasure of getting together again for the final episode of the Phoenix Rising season. I have had some personal struggles, and I have felt about as useful and jazzed as a dead nine volt battery. My spare time and even not so spare time has been spent checking out and finding temporary escape in video games. A better escape method than some, but still an escape from reality.

I left that recording session felling like a brand-new nine volt battery. It reminded me of the importance of meeting with like-minded people and just existing. Sharing thoughts and view points on life with the right people can be incredibly stimulating. It was seriously a turning point in my mini depressive episode. It helped remind me that I can and will do great things. At one point, I had this ideal that I would be able to come home and kick off my shoes and just relax. That to me was a sign that I arrived. I see now how that was an unrealistic and lack luster dream. Yes, downtime is important and we all need it. But a life without challenge, change and opportunities for growth is stale. We are talking stale, like that box of saltines in the back of your grandparent's cabinet, found years past its prime.

While the struggle is not always enjoyable, it is unto itself a gift of sorts. It forces us to learn and grow in ways we might not otherwise experience. Also, we as humans have a way of getting stuck on the small things and make them all consuming. If I had truly not been able to endure and change from the amount of "Woe is me, my life is over" events, I would have expired many times over by now. Yes, I too can be overly dramatic at times.

Please don't take this as me telling you to put on a fake smile and endure without expressing emotion. Fake it until you make it needs to happen sometimes, but all emotions need to be expressed. Just within reason. Sometimes we need to take that outside in look at things to truly appreciate our situation for what it really is. This can be accomplished through writing it out, talking it through with a friend and honestly a plan of action with simple steps can help take the pressure off. When viewed as a whole, many things can be entirely overwhelming. When you break things down into simple steps, suddenly you can see a light at the end of the tunnel that is no longer the much wished for train. Bishop :(: