Keeping Commitments

It has been a fantastic week! That adorable little monkey is my daughter. I missed my Friday walk because I made the choice to spend some dedicated dad time with her. I have absolutely zero regrets about it. She got her Easter basket, we ate dinner together, and we read 3 bedtime stories that night.

Saturday we went on a walk together. This is its own kind of progress. Let me explain why. You see, I am the absolute best at talking my self out of doing things when it seems like the conditions just aren't perfect. It is my "I'm not ready" defense that my inner self uses to keep me stuck in a rut.

I knew that I would not be setting a new record mile walk time with my daughter. So the internal dialogue started presenting options. "Do I take a walk after she goes to bed?". "Do I ask a roommate if she can chill with them while I take a quick walk?". "Do I just can the idea of a walk today?" As you can see from the video, none of the options won out or were even attempted. I am so glad I silenced my inner voices and lived in the moment with my daughter. She had a blast, and she loved the experience, as did I.

I am working hard on the daily to authentically become a better me. This means seeing my way out of these internal monologues, doing things I told myself I was going to do even when the motivation or desire has passed. This is how I will build my new life. One choice, one moment, one hard push forward at a time day by day.

For the better part of 34 years I avoided things when anxiety, doubt or honestly when too much effort was required. Making the choice to stick to a commitment I made even when it was only to myself in my head has been empowering. I am well on my way to a better and healthier life.

Truthfully, we are usually the true reason we fail. Self sabotage is a real thing, and we often do it without even knowing it is happening. Then SURPRISE! The consequences of our own actions or even inaction smack us upside the face. The next time you catch yourself in an internal monologue, stop and listen to yourself for a moment and really see what is going on. It can be life changing. On that note, it is time to read a few pages in Wise as Fu*K and call it a night. Bishop :(: