Dear Bishop 2022

Dear Bishop, Well, my friend, it is time for us to chat again. I see you have a glass of Gentleman Jack and Dr Pepper joining us this evening. Is it safe to assume you have finally learned you deserve to actually treat yourself sometimes? Maybe self-love is finally becoming a thing? I like it, keep that shit up.

We have a lot to unpack about this year. But I am glad you stopped by for our yearly chat. Though it seems we actually talk more often these days. It is a welcome change to bottling it all up and ignoring me. We missed last year's chat, but I am going to give you a pass this one time and one time only. Our little check ins are a tradition worth keeping. But I will say you had a lot going on when you missed it last year.

This year, this very month, marks five years since you and the wife split. What a journey we have been on. But you and that amazing heterosexual life mate bought a house, and in turn you accomplished a goal you set in 2017. Jackie, that adorable soon to be six year old daughter you have has her own room! No more 900 ish square foot mobile home. You have an honest to god house with enough room for you, the kid and three house mates.

Let us wrap around to the house mates portion of that statement. When you moved in here it was Seppi, Jackie, a girlfriend, her mom and two other kids. January of this year, January one in fact, you stood up for yourself! When you realized she was after a person to provide her a life of doing jack shit and not an equal, not a partner, you cut that cord. You cut that cord hard.

She was making more money than she ever had with the lowest overhead she had since you met her, and somehow monthly you had to be her ATM when the "Master of budgeting" could not budget. You spent a week solid contemplating your feeling, the emotions you were experiencing, and ultimately you came to the conclusion that you weren't valued. The "I love you's" were a tactic, and at the end of the day, she "Valued" your pay check and house. We use quotation marks on this one because truly she does not know how to value anything, and she combined with those kids trashed the ever loving fuck out of your cars and your house.

You always feared dating someone who spent time with simply for financial or personal gain. Well, you were the meal ticket you feared being. But we survived. You, the person who was told you are "Codependent" Seemed to have no problem removing disrespect from the home. She did not fight, she did not ask why, she just told you one more month of free living was not enough time for her. You stayed strong, and you put your foot down, and at the end of January you had the house back. A handful of friends showed up even over your protests that this was your job to clean up and by the end of the day it was a nicer, cleaner dare I say happier home. As time went on, you realized she took some things that were not hers to take. But it was a cheap price to pay in the end.

February, the next big change. You left the job you had for almost three years. You gave up the open to close lifestyle. You left the working almost every Saturday routine. After almost three years, you were now driving 54 minutes to work each way. You felt unappreciated, undervalued and ultimately with almost three years and not a single pay increase after proving yourself you hit the road, and it was the right move. Knowing your worth might just be the theme of this year.

You got recruited by a great job just a mere 10 minutes down the road from your house. You met some amazing people and felt valued again. You started in March, had a great training class and even secured a customer. What a trip it was, making 44,000lbs of beans move across the country. And paid vacation!? That was a trip to have again. Jackie was a bit upset she did not get to go to work with you. But the trade-off? Saturdays and Sundays off and only an 8-hour work day.

You went to see mom. Surprised the hell out of her! While she did not give birth to you, she is and always will be mom. It was great to be part of her big day. You reconnected with friends, stayed up way too late, and have zero regrets about it. As it should be.

Not long after this trip, you got a job offer. You weren't even looking, but this was a dream come true. Honestly, you had literally dreamed of having this job. You even felt like it might be coming your way. But ever the realist, you squashed that down until it was officially a thing. Now you are working back in Sandy in the very office you sold cars out of. However, you love it! The building has been cleaned up. The family that employs you loves you, and you could not be happier. You have weekends off still, and Jackie can come to work with you if she needs to!

You and Charles had a fitness challenge of sorts. While you did not shed as many pounds as you had wanted to... You still won this round and in September you start again. You have developed some great habits, and they are serving you well. You got to go to a concert again!!! Seeing the Tejon Street Corner Thieves was amazing and when you discovered them in 2019 you never imagined you would get to see them live. But let us be honest here. Going to concerts or live events was not really something those parents who raised you ever did. This is new territory for you.

You and that heterosexual life mate went to see Rob Zombie!!! My friend, you are living, and that was one hell of a show. Teenage you never would have dreamed he would see Powerman 5000 and zombie live. Even with the rain delay, shorter sets and late night again, I can say no regrets.

We are just about 8 months from when you and that lest delightful ex split. I am proud of you for keeping it together. For not trying to find someone for the sake of having someone around. You are learning what you are worth and truly enjoy almost every single day of this single life. Four more months until you hit the goal you set of being single for at least a year.

Now let's get down to business. You need to get back to reading. That book collecting dust you keep thinking about? Time to read and not to just think about reading. Enjoy this month because you made a promise to yourself. September comes and back on the get healthy express you go. This is a pause, not a back to the old ways adventure. You have earned it, but don't get too comfortable. Personal goals and progress will be a lifetime pursuit, and you big guy are 100% worth it.

You and Jeff are on an adventure, and it is only just starting. I am proud of you for making another podcast. You are speaking your truth and opening doors for yourself. No matter how big it gets or small it stays, you are doing something that is healthy and worthwhile and worthwhile, and that is all that matters. Tomorrow you are taking yourself to breakfast then coming home and hitting the goals hard. We have lots of work, living and adventures to accomplish. As always, I am proud of you. These changes this year are epic and a truly measurable amount of growth and personal progress. You are turning into the person you always wanted to be and giving yourself permission to feel and valuing your own emotions and wants, and it is a beautiful thing. We live for the tiny human, and we live for our self. Keep chasing dreams and going on adventures. Life is meant to be lived, and you are worthy of living it. Much love Me, who is you. Bishop :(: