Coming To Terms

The airshow at Hill Air Force Base was truly worth the trip. It had a massive turn-out on Saturday. Not surprising considering this show normally happens every two years. Due to Covid, it had not happened in four years.

Mass transit was recommended as a way to get to the show. I elected to drive. The drive on base and to park was honestly super quick. The line to get into the show took well over two hours. Many people gave up before they made it through security. But I was determined to enjoy the show. The last one I attended was over a decade ago.

That determination almost failed me even before I left the house. The drive, the crowd, the sense of the unknown felt overly daunting. It was seriously an inner battle with myself. For as excited as I have been about this show ever since I found out it was happening, it was a peculiar battle to have.

It made me face a reality that I have been avoiding for as long as I can remember. I have anxiety. I remember having the same fear back when I lived in Connecticut. The fear of the unknown, the steady mental diet of what if scenarios. It all came back to me. I have stopped myself from doing so many things based on my anxiety.

This is a realization I wish I had come to so many years ago. Life would look a lot different. Going back to school? Stopped by anxiety. Solo road trips? Also stopped by anxiety. So many missed opportunities and experiences stopped by anxiety.

The flip side of tackling it head on for Saturday's show? After reading the event instructions a few dozen times, I packed a bag and headed to the gas station. I overpaid for diesel at Loves and got two of the most meh breakfast burritos. I spent a few minutes in the parking lot, set a general direction on Google Maps and hit the road.

The drive up was smooth, and I turned my car into my own personal rock concert. I vaped like a freight train because this was a non-smoking show, e-cigarettes included. That was also an anxiety hurdle for me. My vape is kind of my chosen form of anxiety and stress control, and I could not take it with me.

I drove on base and followed the very well-marked pathway. I was eventually told to head down a side street and found my own place to park. Then I got out of the VW and applied a heavy layer of sunscreen and started following the crowd in the general direction of the show. After, of course, I took a screenshot of my parking spot on Google Maps because anxiety. I looked like the world's biggest dork in my tan combat boots, tan shorts, button up shirt and jungle hat to keep the sun off my face and ears. But let's not forget the tiny cloth Blue October backpack. That really tied the outfit together. But it was functional, and I was not out to impress anyone, I was out to watch the show.

After the two ish hours in the sun in a slowly moving line, I finally made it inside the gates. My first order of business was to purchase a large ice-cold $8 lemonade because I was very thirsty after the long line. I got to the flight line just in time to watch the P-51 Mustang strut its stuff and make that Merlin engine sing. I watched a few of the performers and talked to a veteran who sang the praise of the beautiful Mustang and the Tuskegee Airmen, and I agreed with him on both accounts. Eventually his son-in-law came and whisked him away to some shade and, rightfully, so it was HOT!

When I first walked in, I saw a PBY Catalina on display with people walking through it. I needed the cold drink and to watch the Mustang in action before I could retrace my steps. You see, I had only seen one of these flying boats in person once before. They are not common these days. But it unlocked another memory. Talking to grandpa over 20 years ago, watching Victory at Sea and marveling at the PBY on the screen. He told me when he left Japan, he flew out on a PBY. It was loud, rough, and he would have rather been on a PT Boat, but that is how he got to leave.

So I paid my $4 for a walking tour of the massive flying boat and got to walk in a place similar to where my grandfather had been at the end of WW2. It was worth far more than the $4 to me. I took a ton of pictures and video, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I walked around a few more exhibits and ran into a talented FB friend from years past. I decided it was well worth it to purchase two prints as a memento of my trip to the airshow. After the legacy flight and performance by Shockwave, the jet powered truck, I needed shade and a place to sit down. By this point, I had been standing in the sun for over 5 hours.

I caught part of the performance of the Twin Yak from the hanger I took refuge in. By that time, I knew I had to hike back to the car because another two hours on me feet in the sun, I might not have been able to make that walk. I made it to the car and hit the road. I stopped on the way home for some Wendy's and another lemonade. The drinks were expensive enough I passed on the food at the show. After I scarfed that down, I took a brief nap and then a bath because I could not walk like a normal person after my big day out. So I struck down my anxiety and had a pretty good day out flying solo. I have an idea for my next adventure, but I will save that for another blog post. Now that I know and accept my anxiety, I feel like this is a game changer. I still have anxiety, but I better know how to recognize it, and that is half the battle.